Yes, they truly are from mars!!!
Since I don't go to bars anymore.....since my church has NO single, active, decent-aged men......and since my apartment building has none of the above...............
What is a woman to do??....Where do you go???
During the past two or three years I have seen a few men....they weren't easy to find, let me tell ya' !!!.......and one found me, my Ex.... These experiences have only served to verify the conclusions I had already drawn from the past.......men are, basically, sneaky....sly....devious....manipulating.....and yes, liars!!!
Sorry ladies, if you don't agree....and my apologies to my sons.....I know there are exceptions.........I just haven't found one yet!!!
The other difficulty is age. I am a reasonably healthy, active woman, and I don't THINK I am ugly. But I need to meet a man YOUNGER than me in order for him to be able to enjoy life with me (everyone my own age is in a wheelchair, uses a walker, shuffles, or don't walk at all). I need someone to keep up with me!! .......But then, what younger man wants an older woman??!!........It just becomes a vicious circle!!!......So, I'm stuck!!
You know what I did???........ I checked out Match.com.......Yes! I did!!
You know what the conclusion there is??......men are sneaky...sly...devious...manipulating...and yes, liars!!......Oh, sorry, did I repeat myself???!!!!
Here is another conclusion from Match: Most men, on average, aren't much taller than I am!......I always wanted to meet someone tall like my brothers.....hasn't happened, yet! Mostly their average height is between 5'6" and 5'10".
Two other things that struck me as weird:
When you tell Match for profiles of men within 50 miles of your hometown....they send them from California, all the way to Florida!!!!....What good does that do them or me??!!
And there is the other weird thing; Florida......Widowed men and women retire to Florida....it is a MECCA for single men and women....Yet, most of the men on Match looking to meet someone, are from FLORIDA!!!! Why don't they look in their own backyard??! If I lived in Florida I wouldn't even think of Match......maybe I should move?!
I want someone to run around with, and who is CAPABLE of enjoying life....what am I to do??! (tears going on here!)
Shirls :(
9 comments:
". . . men are, basically, sneaky....sly....devious....manipulating.....and yes, liars!!!"
Oh, come on, now, Grandma Shirley. That's not fair to those of us that aren't. Not all men are bad, but we are definitely a mystery to most women, and vice versa. It's said that women marry men in the hopes they will change, and men marry women in the hopes they will never change.
Of course, I'm not insinuating you search for a relationship for the reason of marriage, but just for this point - if there's something you don't like about a man, he may not change that about himself, but he may hide it from you because he knows you don't like it. Maybe he does so out of selfishness, or maybe he does so out of some kind of compassions so as to not hurt you with the things he does. I, for one, enjoy drinking energy drinks (the kind that are full of stuff that will probably kill me some day), but my fiancé doesn't like this habit of mine. I know this, and I don't hide it from her, but I also don't give her an account of every time I drink one either. I'm not going to hide it from her, but I know she doesn't like that I drink that garbage.
If the men are flat out lying, they're no good. If they're manipulative, then they're controlling and have enough problems of their own to sort out before they get involved with another person.
As for sly, that's not always a bad asset. But like any trait, it can be good or bad depending on how the person applies it in the way in which they act both within and upon the world around them.
As for devious, well, who are you dating, Cobra Commander? Stop dating world-dominating supervillains. Or, at the very least, ego-dominating narcissists.
I'll leave you with 2 last bits of advice.
1) The old country song (maybe not as old to you as it is to me, but better than most of the new stuff) Lookin' for Love by Johnny Lee from the Urban Cowboy soundtrack.
2) Some advice my dad told me, they day you stop searching for love is the day it finds you. Love is like a bird, if you chase it, it only flies away. If you can sit quiet and still, birds will wander around you without fear, and with some subtlety and a little coaxing (bread crumbs work for birds, dinner and good conversation works for men, same basic concept), you'll befriend them. But just like a bird, you can't pounce or they'll leave and never come back (wild birds aren't pet, but can be companions).
As an example, I used to go out trying to meet women; clubs, bookstores, Walmart (once you hit 30 in some ways your options are limited, but experience opens you to new options). And I found women, but they were all shallow and all had done thing on their mind - they weren't looking for love but for someone to take care of them (heck, I'm 41 now and I can barely take care of myself). I stopped searching but I kept open eyes and an open mind, but I kept going to bookstores just to look for cheap used books or to be around people. And shortly thereafter, I met the woman who, just over 8 years later, will become my wife 2 months from now (yes, we took things very slow). It started with talking and emails, then facebook messaging and meeting for coffee, and 4 years later we started dating. I fell in love with her the minute I saw her, but she wasn't looking to date at the time, but she was open to friendship, and a half a loaf of bread to a starving man is better than none at all.
So, just like with birds, I didn't move quickly and I didn't pounce, but I was pleased only to have her there. If you do birds right, you can literally have a bird eating out of your hand (this is meant as an analogy, not a comparison), but you don't move closer while they're there. You simply position them closer to you. So, I let her get closer to me, I opened myself just enough to trust her, and when I could trust her, I opened more of myself to her and she to me. Just as you can't force a flower to grow and blossom, you can only plant the seed and nourish what grows.
And with that, I leave you with one more song, The Rose sung by Bette Midler.
I see it was quite a bitter time without special other to be with.
I have actually laughed on the comment about Florida being retirement site for widowers and widows.
Anyway, this blog is a tiny window into your mind.
I truly hope you find love somewhere!! My friend Ana and I love you and wish you the best!!
You are a real treat Shirley! And certainly a keeper, sending my loves. I do enjoy your writing, and look forward to reading more of your adventures, and stories.
"not all meN" ROFL
I'm not going to pull the 'not all men' thing because I know better. A lot of men stink that's for sure. For whatever reason we've ended up in a world where men being shit is accepted if not encouraged. That said I do my best to be kind and not hurt others. I think a lot of the reason is because i'm gender fluid and spend a lot of time roleplaying as a woman online. I see how women are treated & do my best to keep that in mind when I interact with one online or in real life.
I absolutely would go out with you if I could. I'm 45 (going on 46) and if I were in better health I would love to spend time with a kind, loving woman like you. Sadly due to my health I'm in about as bad a shape health-wise as men in their 70's and 80's. I know it's fun going out in person but there are plenty of decent guys to know online. Just avoid the Match . com stuff. Dating services have always been trash.
I know this post is old, but speaking as a man ... yeah. It's true. Sorry about that.
I found this, Grandma, but as a man, I'm with you on this. We are quite Mars-like.
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